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People seem colder, meaner, more aggressive and less respectful than I can remember. Good manners and basic civility seem like a throwback to an age long since passed. The cult of youth, spurned on by the music industry, TV, Hollywood films and emboldened by laws that reduced parental control has spawned a generation of monsters. Over-entitled, disrespectful, obnoxious and aggressive brats who aren’t slow to let you know their rights but will never accept responsibility for their behaviour. Backed up by laws that protect those rights don’t you dare try to correct one of them for ill-behaviour. Violence is second nature to many of their kind and the justice system, which appears to exist in name only, has little remedy for the victims of such monsters.

Should you be brazen enough to confront one of their kind you might end up in hospital (violence is their preferred language after all and they rarely operate outside of a gang nor without weapons). If you’re fortunate to still be alive and able to function the fine, upstanding officers of our world renowned Police force might not arrest you for daring to defend yourself…but I wouldn’t count on it.

So many chips on so many shoulders. Be mindful of your words. Guard your thoughts. Be careful of who you encounter in the streets and institutions of work and leisure. Many people are pack animals and will defend those who are wrong, even if they themselves don’t believe a certain course of action is correct. Cowardice and compliance will always trump integrity and ethics wherever social standing, climbing the career ladder and maintaining a comfortable life are concerned.

Incompetence is often rewarded in the workplace and those young bloods who rock the boat with enthusiasm and new ideas are often the first to be pushed out or sidelined. Don’t upset the apple cart when many careers have been made from doing as little as possible. Inefficiency keeps many people in employment and self-interest is paramount. You will find few allies and even less friends when challenging the status quo.

Narcissism is all the rage. Have a smartphone and social media accounts? The world is no longer your oyster - the world is you! Selfies and likes are the new currency. Virtue signalling is mandatory. Embrace your inner brokenness. Hate on whoever the media vilifies. Don’t think for yourself. Don’t question what you’re told. Just indulge yourself in a million different ways. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. Social Media. Reality TV. Stay glued to your smartphone. Be an addict. Be a slave to your whims and desires. Use others as they use you. Get another stupid looking tattoo. Don’t stop being an attention whore. It’s all about you anyway!

Stick it to the system and celebrate your individuality by being part of the crowd. That’ll show them.

Be mindful of the streets. Always support politically enforced diversity and keep your cognitive-dissonance operating at full strength. Become dulled to the enrichment of knife crime and gang culture that have been imported to these shores. Conveniently disregard the existence of grooming gangs of men of non-English heritage operating in every city up and down the country. Fail to acknowledge the cowardice of native English men who are more interested in getting drunk and beating the crap out of one another at football matches than defending their women and their communities.

Never question the failures of such a grand social experiment but be vigilant and ready to castigate those who do. Virtue signalling is mandatory and failure to do so will see you excommunicated from the tribe, socially shamed and begging for forgiveness from your peers.

Applaud as tech companies de-platform those who dare to have an alternative perspective and speak out. Nod approvingly as politicians bring in hate speech laws that are so vaguely worded as to be wide open to interpretation. Resist the fascist wherever the mainstream media and your peers tell you to. Exercise vigilance around those hate-filled White, Christian, heterosexual males as you never know when they’re going to try oppressing you again. Never forget that the battle against extremism means we have to give up as many freedoms as necessary if we want to feel safe.

Celebrate the triumphs of sexual liberation as marriage rates decline, single parent households increase and women not only climb the career ladder but are now able to drink men under the table. Sleep with who you want, when you want (but play that bisexuality card to really score points) and don’t forget to exercise your right to abortion on-demand. It’s a brave new world! Being a slave to your lusts is this season’s black. Stick it to the patriarchy that only ever existed in the books of academia. Self-restraint is so Victorian after all.

Binge drinking, liver cancer and increased STD rates are the new benchmarks of social progress. Who cares about the burden on the already over-stretched NHS when alcohol is so cheap and Tinder dates so plentiful? Live for now!

Education rates may be so poor that you leave school unable to read, write or perform basic arithmetic but at least you can exercise your freedoms to get drunk and sleep around.

Decry toxic masculinity and preach the tyrannies of the patriarchy as men become interchangeable with women in both the workplace and the bedroom. Attack the foundations of masculinity wherever possible and preach the religion of gender equality. Don’t forget to ask for special treatment where necessary though. Obstacles in your path? Cry discrimination and use your sexuality to get ahead. There’s nothing you can’t achieve grrrl! Go get ‘em!

Treat the nice guy as the useful fool that he is while banging that bad boy in the bedroom. After your looks have faded and your best years were used up on various ill-suited excuses for men (who you’re no longer able to attract as your youth has faded) don’t hesitate to complain about the lack of decent men out there. Tell the world that you’re a strong, empowered woman and that men are too weak to handle you. If all else fails you can always adopt some cats.

Indoctrinate the children with progressive ideologies and delay their maturity wherever possible so that grown men are still living with their mothers, struggling to find employment, masturbating to pornography and playing computer games all day long well into their thirties.

Let the mainstream media do your thinking for you, binge drink with your colleagues to drown out the pointlessness of your job role (as well as trying desperately to fit in and be accepted by the very same people who secretly despise you as much as you do them) and be sure to never stray too far from the crowd whilst broadcasting every detail of your individuality on social media.

Don’t make eye contact with others during your travels and be as self-centred as possible while virtue signalling on Facebook so that everyone knows what a loving person you are.

Welcome to modern Britain.

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